Dining With Plastic Forks

Kale G: Errant knights we, now that the quest was upon us we were bound by both duty and honor to begin seeking the best Jucy Lucy the Twin Cities had to offer, and that with haste! Perhaps the best might also be among the newest, the Blue Door Pub, also known as the home of the Jucy Blucy…

Wait, can I get a spell check on that?

Phil B. (a.k.a. Spell Checker): Nope, try again. According to their website, it’s a ‘Juicy Blucy’. So far, Matt’s Bar has the only one that is ‘Jucy’. What’s up with that, anyway?

KG: See, the Blue Door Pub decided that while the basic formula for a Lucy is fine, there were plenty more things that could be stuffed in there with the cheese, and damned if they aren’t trying to explore every one. They even have a Breakfast Blucy on the menu.

PB: The Breakfast Blucy looks like their take on a bacon, egg, & cheese burger, which is very good any time of day. The Blucy that got my attention was the Luau, which comes with pineapple chunks, mozzarella, & Canadian bacon (or as our Canadian coworker says: you mean back bacon, eh?). Might have to give them four tines for the innovative menu, if nothing else.

KG: We found our way out to the wilds of St. Paul, and when we spotted the Blue Door we had a sneaking suspicion we were at the right place.

Walking in, we bellied up to the bar to check the place out. Saviors and food service must go together, because we were treated to a shot of Buddha watching over the brews. The list of on tap brew was impressive, even to someone like myself who doesn’t drink. Phil, who does, was drooling on the counter.

PB: Buddha sez: Get to know the beer…

KG: Uhh... Phil?

PB: ...embrace it...

KG: Phil?

PB: ...rub it all over your naked self.

KG: PHIL!

PB: Oh, sorry about that...

But they have one of the finest selections of regional craft beers on tap I have seen anywhere in the Twin Cities, with ales from Bell’s, Surly, Widmer’s, Rush River, Victory, and Summit, to name a few. The new/old Schlitz “1960’s recipe” beer was represented as well. One of their more intriguing offerings was called ‘Dirty Farm Girl’ (Lift Bridge Brewery, Stillwater, MN). This has to be the only bar on the planet where you can order a Juicy Lucy with a Dirty Farm Girl and nobody raises an eyebrow. I love this place already.

KG: For myself I ordered the Bacon Blucy, because nothing isn’t improved with bacon. Or rather, if there is something that isn’t improved with bacon I don’t want it in my life to begin with. Phil’s a bleu cheese fan, and so it was an easy call for the Jucy Blucy for him. All that was left was to decide the sides, and it was the beer battered green beans for me, the hand-cut fries for Phil. The man behind the counter asked if we had punch cards, to which we could only respond, “A who to the what now?”

The Blue Door has a nice program – the punch card has a slot for every type of Blucy on it, and once you’ve gotten them all punched you can get a free Blucy of your choice – a nice reward for going through the list. Phil and I look forward to working our way through, but when we saw the burgers we knew it wasn’t happening today. These things were enormous!

PB: Yep, we will add the punchcard thing to our ‘To Do’ list. Anyhow, as my fellow knight errant on this Quest said, the burgers were huge but we were confident that we were up for the task. We are, after all, professionals. (sorry Hunter) At this point, I was so hungry that I was rubbing my hands together and laughing with maniacal glee at the sight of the food. Kale acted like he didn’t know me, and the other patrons looked concerned as they noted the location of the nearest exit.

KG: There’s some weird variance going on in the kitchen – Phil’s was pretty well done, with a nice if mild char to it, but didn’t seem to have much cheese until about halfway back into the burger. Mine, to be opposed, was rare to the point of raw in places, and stuffed so full of bacon and cheese that it was dripping out every which way you held it. Which was fine by me – I could have used a little more burn on that burger, but the cheese was plentiful and the bacon gave everything a nice savory flavor that I wasn’t about to say no to.

PB: I will have to assume that their process needs tweaked, or perhaps the cook was having an off day. As Kale said, my well-done burger was half gone before I found the cheese, which was somewhat lacking in quantity. On the other hand, Kale’s burger was cooked exactly the way a great steak should be: medium rare. I actually prefer burgers cooked slightly less than well-done, but this looked like it might be way off base from health department guidelines. Kale doesn’t mind slightly undercooked burgers either, but he eventually gave up, saying it was simply too raw to finish.

KG: But the sides! The fries on Phil’s plate were a delicious golden brown, dusted with coarse salt (kosher, we guessed), and it would have been a crime to mar their beauty with ketchup or mustard. And the beans! The beer batter was light, almost tempura-like in its consistency. I got a little side of ranch dressing to dip them in that wasn’t bad, but again, these beans stand on their own. Chris commented that they were so light, they were almost a vegetable.

Who’s Chris?

He’s Chris.

KG: One of the nice things about hanging at the bar is that you get to meet some of the regulars. Chris had worked his way through most of the various Blucys, saying they were all worthy, if huge, entrees. We chatted with him throughout the meal, and he only reinforced the lesson we learned at Matt’s. Say it with me now:

KG & PB: “Sit at the bar!”

KG: If the joint has a bar with open seats, jump at the chance. Tables and booths are great for dates, but for the social experience the bar is where it is at! You get some local color, some great chow, and a good view of the Buddha. Y’know, if they have a Buddha.

PB: Exactly. If they have room at the bar, you should sit at the bar. Unless you’re surly, mean, vain, bitter, obnoxious, or just plain stupid, where you should just stay home anyway. One of my favorite things to do (during warm weather, that is) is to ride a motorcycle through the rural areas of Minnesota and Wisconsin and stop at old hole-in-the-wall taverns. Have met some of the nicest people either sitting at the bar or working behind it in these places. You might even meet a enlightened being with the qualities of the Buddha, instead of just a statue.

KG: End of the day, I like the Lucys at the Blue Door a little better than Matt’s, a little less than the 5-8’s. It’s a solid burger, but the inconsistent cooking is a little off-putting. Three tines on the burgers, but those sides more than make up the difference: these side are full-fork, four-tine dining, and believe you me they are worth the price of admission. And remember – the Blue Door is still a young place – things that are inconsistent now may even out with time and experience, and these burgers may eventually eclipse those that came before. We’ll check back in periodically with them – after all, we still have these punch cards to fill out…

PB: Oops, small update on that: Don’t know if I will ever fill up a punchcard, since I have lost mine already. Oh well …

I will have to diverge slightly from Kale’s opinion on the burger. Matt’s Lucy actually had more cheese in the middle than my Juicy Blucy did, and had a better char. And this one didn’t even come close to the bleu cheese Lucy I got at the 5-8 Club. However, I had a bite of Kale’s Bacon Blucy, and really liked the filling portion of it. So, while we may disagree on the rating of the burgers, we do agree on this point: the inconsistency may be a little disturbing this time, but it gives us hope that they will have their act together next time. After all, I can’t think of too many places that haven’t had an off day here and there. I give the burgers two-and-a-half tines with the hopes of a four-tine experience next time.

As for the sides: AWESOME! I award them a full four tines. They are worth coming back for any time, and the burgers just might be awesome next time as well. Y’never know, y’know?