Dining With Plastic Forks

Kale G: Hail, Citizen!

Sock Puppet Phil B: Hail!

KG: This week, our meanderings brought us here, to The Citizen Café, the Café for the People. It says so right on the banner.

We weren’t quite sure what to expect – honestly, we came here on the strength of the banner alone.

SPPB: And boy are my arms tired!

KG: No, that joke doesn’t work here… it… ugh, anyways, moving on. We got seated at Citizen just before a storm cut in, and were given the choice of inside or outside. The rain turned out not to be too bad, and they had a huge awning over their outside patrons to keep them dry, but Phil and I opted to stay indoors. It wasn’t long before we were given some cuts of bread along with fresh butter and a house-made chickpea spread, not unlike hummus.

SPPB: The hummus smelled like old feet!

KG: No, you smell like old feet. Try to keep up. The hummus/chickpea stuff was actually pretty great, and smelled not at all like smelly feet. It was a good spread that made the good bread all the tastier. The butter was nice as well, but for me a good hummus is always fantastic, and this did not disappoint. The follow-on was a plate of their pate, to be shared between us.

To be fair, as Phil pointed out, this is less a pate as we tend to think of them and more of a terrine, a forcemeat. Which is just a fun work to say – forcemeat.

SPPB: I bet you want to force your…

KG: Whoa! Family show here, SPPB. Anyways, while not spreadable like what we usually consider pate, this concoction was a good chunk of liver and butter, with some capers and a nice homemade dijon mustard on the side. It went really well with the bread, although I’m loathe to use the bread for anything other than the hummus, which really was my favorite of the pre-entrée foods.
When it came to entrees, Phil and I took a few minutes and then decided to go with the most interesting looking of the sandwiches – I went with the Sirloin Burger, which came with a spicy bacon marmalade, and Phil opted for the Citizen Joe – Meat and Spices wrapped in dough.

SPPB: Whoever heard of bacon marmalade?

KG: Not us that’s for sure. And thanks for not making another lame…
SPPB: I mean I always wanna bacon her…

KG: No. Just, no. I don’t even know where you’re going with this, but no. This isn’t working out. The door is over there.

SPPB: But..

KG: Just go. Security will see you out...

Sorry about that folks, but I guess that’s what we get for hiring scabs. Phil, you’re just going to have to do your own writing from here on out.

Real Phil B: Okay, okay! I’ll start writing again! Jeez, all I did wuz take a short vacation from DWPF, and what does my esteemed colleague do? He shows his loyalty by replacing me with a dirty little sock…(ahem). Oh well, let’s get back to business. After all, it’s about the food, not us.

KG: First up, the Citizen Joe.

Holy crap, we did not know what to expect, but we weren’t expecting this! The crust is soft, flaky and tender, delicious enough on its own, but the filling! It reminded me a little of some Afghani spiced meats I’ve had, and was simply succulent.

RPB: There were only three ingredients that I recognized in the sandwich: (1) ground meat, (2) sweet red pepper, and (3) the crust. Sounds simple (and I’m sure there were more ingredients), but the flavors had a delicious complexity that defied description. There was nary a crumb left when I finished.

KG: But wait – there’s more.

So, I figured out what bacon marmalade is… Delicious! A little sweet, mostly spicy and savory, with chunks of bacon slopped into the mix, this one’s for the books. On top of a fantastic ground sirloin patty, it’s the perfect way to make one of the best burgers in the Twin Cities. Add in a slightly too-sweet house-made ketchup, which is just fine mixed with the marmalade, and it’s simply amazing. The branding on their sandwiches is also a nice touch – just a neat trick on top of some fantastic sandwiches.

RPB: Folks, I can’t say enough good things about this place! This is one of the few times I had to restrain myself from going back into the kitchen to shake the chef’s hand. The meal delighted the senses; it was truly fit for a king. But in true egalitarian fashion, this place welcomes one and all: The People.

Here’s the bottom line: You really, really owe it to yourself to give the Citizen Café a try – I don’t think you’ll be disappointed at all. The quality of the food is phenomenal, and the modest prices would fit any proletarian’s budget. Four tines way up.

KG: So in the end, The Citizen Café really is a café for the people, and we absolutely will be back for another go ‘round. The breakfasts and dinners look as good if not better than the lunch! Four tines and highly recommended.